Learning EVERYDAY....

I continue to be thankful for all of my experiences here in Australia. I am constantly learning things about myself and relationships with others. After 5 months of being away from family and friends I find myself searching for and trying to create meaningful and reliable relationships. 

I feel that I have been successful in finding a great group of female friends but I have been failing over and over again when it comes to finding a reliable male friend. 

I have been brainstorming reasons why I seem to have such difficulty in this department, and this is what I've come up with so far:

1. I'm always trying to find a replacement for my best male friend, Miguel. I miss him so much and I find myself drawn to people with similar qualities and interests (brutal honesty, caring, nurturing, reliable, play & watch sports, enjoy a fun night out). The male friend's that I do meet can never seem to meet my expectations. I need to stop comparing, especially before I return home. I know that when I return, Miguel will be moving forward in his life as a partner (with Erin).  
2. I believe that most people have good intentions and are honest (bad  actually horrible when travelling).
3. I open up to people too soon and have a problem with verbal diarrhea.
4. Most importantly, I have let people around me have a significant effect on my mood and emotions. Over the course of my life, I have been dependent on guys and have been crushed when they haven't met my expectations (realistic or not).

I plan to change my behaviour TODAY... I have acknowledged my difficulties and that to me is an accomplishment in itself. I will try to move forward and depend less on others and more on myself. 

Any suggestions or comments are more than welcomed :)